2.7.a Including Red
We are quick to transcend old parts, but what do we include?
(NOTE: If you are new to my site, it helps to read the posts in order. They are listed under the Contents tab here. Today’s post is in addition to my weekly Tuesday posting.)
I’ve been wondering, you say we transcend and include each of the previous stages. If so, aren’t you a little old to be “including” Red in this particular Integral Theory practice? Isn’t there a point where we just need to let go of adolescent behavior and grow up?
Transcend and Include are not two separate tasks, they are two integrated tasks. When we are including worldviews and behaviors from earlier stages, we are not just including them in their pure, less mature forms. We are taking a Red behavior like defensiveness, and transcending it by also including new features, like patience and curiosity. For example, if someone implies that I am a sexist based on something I say, I do not always go immediately to a fight/flight/freeze reaction like I once did. Based on lessons learned over the years, I can pause, reflect and consider other options. Sometimes a short script runs in my brain: “don’t take the bait,” giving me time to take a deep breath and let the physical, brain-clouding reaction calm down. Or, I get curious, “where did that come from?” and review what I said that might have led to the complaint. After years of unskilled reactions on my part, I started taking time to review my behavior because I was spending more time cleaning up the fallout from my impulsive responses.
Although this happens less often, it is a life-long process. I still fail to catch my impulsive responses. So I apologize and gratefully acknowledge the increment of learning and bit of confidence I’ve gained.
OK, but what about some of the other features of being Red. Give me some ideas how you have “included” them in who you are now.
This growing up and cleaning up is on-going1. Answering this question is humbling because I stumble so often doing this work. Here are a few Red features I realize I incorporate at times:
determination when doing something physically difficult; putting up with pain
being thrilled by watching great athletic or courageous feats
caring less about what other people think
being creative
Transcend and include is such a wise instruction. It reminds us to take learnings and combine them with later experiences and considerations for the developmental capacities of others. If we want to be whole, it’s best not to toss away parts of who we have been.
Hmmm. Thanks. I realize I’ve thrown the baby out with the bathwater at times in the past. Even though Red can be a pretty dysfunctional stage, I can see the value of sorting through my experiences to see what is worth keeping.
“Wake Up, Grow Up, Clean Up, Show Up” are sometimes referred to as the “Ups” in Integral. They can be seen as four core and inter-related tasks supporting growth.